Payment plans and general malaise.

Missed one. That'll happen, more often than I'd like.

First, some links. Justin has some more town sketches [Re: Calamity Cash and the Town with No Name] up over on his blog, here they are, for reference: Looks like we got a pizza place, a church, and a nondescript building. A little more urban than I expected, but I know it's best to trust your artist.

The pizza logo belongs to a friend -- Glen Brogan, who also has a blog, and has been at it/is a lot better at it than I am. I've talked about him before, and he's put up where he's become a little more internet famous with his t-shirt designs. That link would be here :

Glen's blog is an extension of his impressive website, which I remain exceedingly jealous of. Really got his act together over there, and I hope one day this little endeavor becomes as impressive. Well... maybe not, his will always have the visual edge, but it would be nice if I could eventually extend my page to include an impressive resume, some of my better work, and less ramblings about the struggle with creativity and my psyche. Though, as it stands, that seems to be my theme.

To the resume; the regrettable thing with mine is that you don't get much credit for writing screenplays that never get looked at or made into movies, and I can't imagine that any of the jobs I've been turned down by were all that impressed that I self-published a comic book [Re: SULK]. So for now we wait. And try to keep building that body of work. Savannah says that's the important thing, and she's getting paid to do this.

Maybe I should put up a couple of things I've written in the past. But this format seems to edge more towards prose work, and that stuff when I do it, well... it always seems kind of private. Then again, this seems kind of private. But I've noticed, interestingly enough, that my profile views have been knocked up 20, which once you remove the 11 or so times I've looked at that barren page, means someone knows I'm here now. So, if you're reading, feel free to comment and say hi. I know you're out there.

I do have a short or two that could go up [Re: He Walks with Angels].

Some other linkage, while I'm thinking about it. The girl who came up with the concept of "Calamity Cash," [Re: Oh... you know] Laura, one of my ex-girlfriends from back high school days, and current, though often absentee, friend [that's just Laura though] turned me on to this photographer's blog. He's from Huntington, I've never met the guy, though from his blog, I feel we might be friends, or at least be able to engage with one another in an antagonistic sort of way, and I enjoy checking his stuff from time to time. By his own admission, he shoots just about everything, so adult content warning, and go check it out. That addy would be : I've broken a few internet courtesy rules by not telling him I'm linking his blog over here, but hey... somehow, I don't think "Hi, we've never met, I'm telling people to look at your photography" would go over so well. And I don't really want to wait and get "in" with the guy before I talk about how awesome his stuff is here. The blog will not wait as I stand on ceremony.

Besides, some of his girls I recognize -- not really, but they look like Bennington girls, and that makes me feel better. Everything here seems so plain.

Mood has turned downward considerably over past several days. Find even goofing off tedious. Haven't been feeling particularly well. Slight cough, stomach upset, and I'm still sore for seemingly no reason. Chest pains as well. Nothing I should probably worry about/complain about. Likely stress/depression, especially since the panic attacks have been so much worse the last week or so. Long periods of time seem to be just wrangling myself in -- one happened while grocery shopping for my grandmother the other day, so I just sort of stood there, knowing there was no one I could call to calm me down, and hoping that no one decided my obsessive staring at the dates on the bread was an invitation to strike up a conversation.

A lot of time passed for just running in for bread and soda, and I practically shouted at the cashier that I didn't need a bag. I told grandma that the line was long, and she didn't take issue.

Also working on the letter-writing thing [Re: Untitled Short]. Not coming along as quickly as I like... find myself apparently House-like in my abilities... inspiration only seems to come to me in an epiphany, or by bouncing things off other people. What many who use the creative process won't tell you is that bouncing ideas off of people is not as much about them giving you suggestions you can use, but rather the ideas and possibilities you can glean by fixing what they're doing that you wouldn't. Explaining it like that makes you out as a bit of an asshole, however. Also helps when the person you talk knows your work well.

Either way, couldn't get Casey on the phone. Anna stays pretty busy. Feel like I'm bothering Sam more often than not these days. Didn't feel right distracting Justin either -- one involved creative project from Randall Nichols per-person. Just floundered on it for a bit instead. Suppose there are other people I could call, but time-delays make me feel odd about calling people when they're either sleeping, or starting work.

I miss everyone, though.

Either way, as to the short, did decide on a ending for the current treatment, even though I'm not as attached to treatment anymore. Really would like to start pages in the next couple of days. Might meet Kyle soon [Re: Kyle Christian Quinn], would be nice to have something to share. Or at least have the ideas in my head.

No matter what, leaning to beginning focused on a postal worker, a bike messenger, or my favorite one of those black and gold mail boxes they use in the cities and suburbs, right there next to the door, nailed into the brick with the address right on its front. I like that, empty, overflowing with letters. It's the one image that's been in my head since the start.

Ah, how my mind will be remembered -- first come, first served.


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