Remembering Steven Bach: Special Thanks

I think, for the time being, I've done all I can. I'm not saying there aren't more Steven Bach stories I have to tell -- there are quite a few, and some I may get to typing up, eventually, and some I may only tell over coffee with old friends, and a few I've decided to pretty much keep just for myself, at least for the time being. It's selfish of me, but also comforting, to have a few things that only I know, or at the very least, that only I have my perspective on.

I may [probably] have one more post about Steven in me this week. If I do, it'll be posted over the next couple days, and if I don't, it was just too painful to go back there one more time, and maybe it will show up at a much later date, one night when I'm in a panic and needing to soothe myself with something sentimental.

I want to thank everyone for coming here over the past week or so. It meant a lot to me to do this, to do something in response to Steven's death, and it meant more to me that some people found this blog on a search engine, and kept coming back to see what was posted each day. If anyone has any story or sentiment they'd like to have posted, just e-mail me, or place it in the comments section of this entry. I'll do my best to get them up in a timely fashion.

I'd like to thank Anna for being there for me on the night it first hit, and Sam, for making sure I had someone to talk to when I first needed them. Exes or not, I couldn't ask for more compassionate friends.

Speaking of friends, I'd like to thank Ian for his letter, Savannah and Julia for their call last Thursday, and Dave for getting me out of the house and onto a couch for Wrestlemania this past weekend. Don't know if Steven would approve of the subject matter, but it was good to have some fun again, and I think Bach would be more than supportive of that. I'd also like to thank Lex for finding me so much stuff about Steven online, during a time when I could barely type his name into a search engine. John for the nice story about Bach's enthusiasm, and being in class with him. To anyone else who helped, or took time to listen, I thank you, sincerely. Last but not least, a final mention goes to Glen, who's comment on my "Raging Bull" article made me feel like I did right by posting all these. And in some ways, that meant the most to me.

To Steven's niece, Cara Venable, your responses to these have given me a new insight into my professor's life [Stevie?!]. I'm very pleased you were able to find me, and I hope some of these entries have brought you comfort. So many of us are so far away, it is nice to find a way to mourn together without actually being together.

To the anonymous mother who posted here: Thank you. I don't know if I knew your child at Bennington or not, but the fact that it was important enough for you to post consoling words here puts me in your debt. Whoever you are, you are kind, and I wish there were more people like you in this world.

I also want to thank my other professors, April Bernard and Annabel Davis-Goff, for returning my e-mails, and for having such kind and considerate words for me in a time like this. Though I wouldn't feel right posting their letters verbatim, I think the things they said to me were the most comforting, and I'm grateful.

Thank you all. There are no real words to express my gratitude, and much like these stories about Steven, none of this feels like nearly enough. I hope those who have found the blog through these unfortunate circumstances will continue to check in, even if only periodically, but if not, I completely understand. I am under no delusions that this past week might be the most important my blog has ever been, or ever will be, and I am proud for that.

Finally, to Steven Bach. Rest in Peace.

2 comments :: Remembering Steven Bach: Special Thanks

  1. Randall: You do know my daughter as a matter of fact...something I did not know when I first read and posted a response. As a mentor and teacher myself, I think there are lessons here for everyone. While I am absolutely sure that Steven knew how appreciated and loved he was by all of you students, I also know that it thrilled him every time he heard it. It is terribly important to tell all the people in your lives how much they mean to you while they are still around to hear it. Perhaps that can be Steven's legacy for all of us; that is one big lesson of our mortality. Death reminds us that each one of us needs that human connection every day. Reach out whenever you can. Be always grateful and share your gratitude. We are all vessels that never quite fill. Thank you, Randall. Your words have touched my heart and made this very sad week more meaningful.

  2. Randall -

    THANK YOU so very much for sharing your heart! I have printed your posts for the rest of my family to enjoy! As I've shared them - there are outright laughs and knowing mmm-hmms at so much of what you write. You have told your stories of Steven, shared your experience and captured the essence of who Steven was. I have so many stories I would love to tell you and will email you with them later. We're currently in the midst of dealing with Steven's death and some other family health issues. When it rains, it pours. So, as time and clarity permit, I will send you those stories. I'm sure you'll find them humorous and enlightening. I still think I could write an entire sketch comedy about me and my brother attending the sneak preview of the movie Hair with Stevei at the ever-so-mature ages of 9 and 6 respectively. Anyway, thank you for sharing! Your blog is in my bookmarks and we'll be in touch! -- Cara