My Christmas list.

Cheryl called today -- for those who don't know, Cheryl is the wonderful woman who owns the local comic shop, and she keeps my meager pull-list of comics for me, and doesn't mind that I only really make it in to pick them up every two months.

On one hand, her timing couldn't be worse, but it couldn't really be better either. I am absolutely broke, but my grandmother asked the day before what I wanted for Christmas, and well, the last two months worth of my comics doesn't seem like such a bad deal. On one hand, I feel like I'm just delaying the inevitable, as with no work on the horizon, I doubt I'll be able to afford these comics too long into the New Year, but on the other hand... I like getting "Runaways," "Ex Machina," and "The Boys" too much month to month, and as poor as I am, I'd like to keep getting them until there is absolutely no way to anymore.

Ah. Only bill I have left, and the only thing I have left to look forward too. As much as I hate feeling sorry for myself, man, that thought makes me blue.

Other things. I re-posted all my eBay stuff again, slashed prices like crazy, hoping to hope that this time they'll sell, and that some Christmas, while not the "ideal Christmas" would be better than none. Click here to see the full listing. For what we'll call "shits and giggles" I'm also going to list each individual item here, and if any of the three people who read this knows someone who might be interested in any of these items, they'll have some links.

1. Extensive Collection of DC Comic's "Swamp Thing" [a great deal of which is from Alan Moore's run on the title]
2. Less-extensive, but still large Marvel Comics "Doctor Strange" Collection
3. DC/Vertigo "The Dreaming" Series -- based on the characters of Neil Gaiman
4. DC Direct "Superman as Shazam" Toyfare Exclusive Action Figure
5. DC Direct "Jack Knight Starman" Action Figure
6. Marvel Comics Presents #72 Wolverine : Weapon X
7. Ultimate Spider-Man #79 [Wizard World Sketch Variant cover, 2005]
8. Spider-Man 30th Anniversary Comics - Amazing Spider-Man #365, Web of Spider-Man #90, Spectacular Spider-Man #189, and Spider-Man #26
9. X-Men Alpha and X-Men Omega [1994]
10. Valiant Comics "Turok, Dinosaur Hunter" #1
11. Kinda Scenester/Hipster/Punker Jacket

So that's my wares. All prices are well under list prices for the comics. Important to note, this isn't some plea to get my friends to buy this stuff... would defeat the purpose if I got my Christmas money from someone I was trying to buy a Christmas gift for. But if you know someone who might be interested in this stuff, and just hasn't seen it on eBay, because let's face it, my search results suck, then let them know.

I don't expect this second posting to sell much better than the first, but I figured it was worth a shot. Can't do anything with the nine extra bucks, anyway.

I suppose coming to this blog it always looks like I'm a little fixated on the shopping/money part of Christmas, and in a way, I suppose I am. Though there's a nice, long list of reasons why I love this holiday, the rampant, and ultimately forgivable materialism is pretty high on the list. While I've certainly heard people damn this time of year for that, I always found it charming. I like giving gifts, and like showing the people I love a special affection around this time of the year. It is regrettable that I can't also have dinner with these people, have a Christmas party with them, spend Christmas Eve or day with them, etc, but distance and other commitments tend to keep these things from happening . And since I'm not what most would consider particularly affectionate, taking the time to get something for someone that I think they'd enjoy... well, that just means a lot to me, even though in someways it feels like the very least I can do.

It's funny. If the world was a little more Dickensian, I could see myself on Christmas day in a top hat and tails with a big sack on my back going door to door and sharing good cheer. Admittedly, in a "Christmas Carol" things come across as simpler -- a wreath, some whisky, new music for the piano, or coal for the fire. I guess Tiny Tim would be a bit easier to buy for. But still, it's that feeling, that "spirit of giving" as I'm sure the greeting cards have already started to sing, that just has always seemed like something I'd like to have, or be a part of.

This, sadly, is not my Christmas, and likely won't ever be. But sometimes, getting as close as we can means something. I hope.

Try to cheer myself up a little now.

I try not to ask for things for Christmas. Generally speaking, giving gifts means more to me than getting them, and getting people things usually consumes me pretty well, and I don't think too much about what I want. But considering my current situation of not being able to shop for my loved-ones, and the immense amount of time I have for self-reflection these days, I thought I'd make another list [as seems to be theme of the day], of some of things that I'd like. Not a long list, really, and nothing I actually expect to get. But it's fun to hope.

"Dear Santa -- It's been a bit. Don't need much this year. A new scarf would be cool, but I certainly don't need one. I wouldn't mind a pair of gloves, a fingerless pair, like the hobos and the hipsters have, that aren't mittens, which I'm sure would make them impossible to find. But that's what elves are for, hah. I need a new hoodie, a pull-over, my old one is gone now, and happily serving it's new owner as warmly as it did me, I hope. I could also use some new headphones -- the earbuds from my shuffle are the old types, and have rubbed my ears raw on the inside, so a more comfortable pair with a little more cord would be nice.

And the last thing is a little esoteric, but I'm sure it wouldn't take up too much room in your sack. I'd like some new canvas shopping bags, without a logo of a particular store on them, since as odd as it sounds I don't like using "Kroger's" bags in Smith, and vice-versa, and having two kinds just seems ridiculous. If you could find something awesome for the decal on the side, that would be great [non-seasonal though! I know how you like to stick holly on things], but not necessary at all.

Thanks, and if you can't make it this year, I certainly understand. I've moved around a lot, and there are a lot of kids who need you more. Sorry it's been so long. Give your wife my love.

Merry Christmas,
Randall"

Shalom.