Election night conversation with Cara Chiaramonte. And liquor.

This conversation took place between  7:30 P.M. and 8:00 PM EST on Election Night. - The Management.

Cara: I keep thinking 'at least I'm in Mass' when elections happen. It's like a buffer zone.

Randall: No buffing if this goes the wrong way though...

Cara: Well as in 'maybe abortion will still be legal here? States rights?

Randall: Possibly? But a constitutional amendment that marriage is between a man and a woman?

Cara: In Mass, married gays aren't even a big deal anymore.

Randall: Imagine if Mittens wins and makes them all illegal

Cara: Then i give myself a hysterectomy.

Randall: You might have to. Whose to say if Obamacare falls, all socialized medicine won't eventually get the axe? We must win this. Elsewise, it all goes horrorshow.

Cara: Nngh.

Randall: Mitt Romney is the villain from a slasher flick. A clichéd, shambling monstrosity of misunderstood evil with a tragic back-story, and a family full of bastards willing to enable him. And no matter how far or fast we run, he always keeps pace. The only thing we can do now is turn and fight the motherfucker in a profanity-laced, virginity-empowered flurry of democracy.

Cara: Virginity-empowered?

Randall: Hey, I don't make the horror film rules. Though it could just be a metaphor for young people.

Cara: I think most of the young voting-age people are fucking like rabbits.

Randall: So are the Mormons, Cara. 25% of the vote for Romney has come FROM HIS OWN FAMILY.

Cara: I just scared the cat by laughing.

Randall: Look at it!

Randall: What the hell!

Cara: What is this? I don't even...

Randall: The Romney family.

Cara: Why do they look like the Duggars?

1 comments :: Election night conversation with Cara Chiaramonte. And liquor.

  1. It was me and my Jameson, thank you.

    I stand by my words.