It occurs to me I've been neglecting the production diary aspect of this blog lately.
Let's take a moment and profile the obsessive writer. You'll notice stringy, unwashed hair, hanging ever forward from hours spent sitting over a computer at an acute angle. The creeping neckbeard threatening to overtake the greater part of his head, the dubious scowl and set jaw, pointed outward when most of the annoyance and loathing is focused inward. And the sunglasses indoors, as he ventures forth into parts of the house with open windows during the daylight hours. You can even see the sunken cheekbones and hanging dark circles under the eyes, reaching out as though in love with the four hair Kurt Cobain mustache.
Sorry. An unflattering picture of me surfaced on Facebook recently. I have opted to do battle with it by beating it to the punch.
The last weekend, all of Saturday, most of Friday went to working on "Untitled Willie Nelson Song" [I keep wanting to add the word "love" in there between "Nelson" and "Song"], with intermittent breaks to work on my next review for the paying j-o-b. Not that you can tell that from the current draft, just some grammar changes, and a dealing with a few paragraphs that made me want to tear my hair out. None of the big problems have been solved, and from the feedback I've gotten -- and seriously, thank you, to everyone who has given me feedback, either here or in my e-mail or over the phone [and if anyone hasn't yet, and has something they want to say, it's not to late] -- it seems like most people don't even get settled in with it until the second reading. I feel like I'm in one of those places where I'm not clever enough to be as subtle as I'd like, so I'm going to have to make changes I personally call "dummy changes" -- painfully obvious things like giving characters names, or fleshing out things that I liked leaving to one or two sentences.
It's probably for the better, I'm just trying to come to terms with doing all that. The things we have to convince ourselves of, eh?
Sunday, I woke up feeling crippled. Right hand was just killing me, like I'd got in a karate chopping contest with Iron Fist, and typing was pretty excruciating. Managed to polish off my review, still, but no real writing got done. Lot of time to think, lot of self-doubt sort of crawled in. Not entirely sure what my end game for finishing this piece is [re: Untitled Willie Nelson Song], especially since I'm just coming back to prose, and I sort of loathe soliciting this kind of thing out. Hard enough finding collaborators, I'm not sure if I'm willing to bite and claw for space on some internet zine or mini journal that other writers want and deserve a lot more than I do.
Of course, everyone has an opinion on why I feel this way. Fear of success [oh yeah, that's likely], fear of rejection [pile of returned resumes and "no thank yous" from my post college job hunt would argue otherwise], laziness... whatever, man. A friend has given me a bead on a few long form submission places to check out, and I'm putting them on my list of things to look into once my schedule slows down after mid-August.
Anyway, hand's feeling better today. Thought I might catch up on some of the link-worthy things I neglected on Twitter over the weekend.
New follower/friend of Mojo Wire Adria has a great post about the perks of being an adult over at her blog "Coloring Inside the Lines." I'm not usually an immediate "you're reading me/so I'll read you" kind of guy but the sub-header to her blog is "No job? GREAT!"... and I think I may have fallen in love a little.
John had two entries I didn't get to post for him up at "The Bathroom Monologues" - go forth and enjoy the weekend fair of "Telepaths Don't Exist" and "The Empress Needs New Clothes."
My favorite animation/roller-derby themed blog [there are more than you think] covered Rollercon '10, in smashmouth Tara Armov-style.
No clever comments here... just go read "Dreams of Ondaatje (1)" over at the "Synonym for Living" blog of Sophie's.
Hannah Miet hits somebody, and has an e-mail exchange with Chianski of Freelance Pallbearer about it.
My friend Carrie talks about her upcoming nuptials [sort of] on her blog "Carrie Kirk Can't Sleep." Special note, I took the picture. It only took me six tries.
This was posted today by Liz on her blog "Dance to the Radio" - it's a guilty pleasure mixtape, and who doesn't love those? Plus, it gave me an idea for a post of my own, for later...
Finally, woke up to find this in my inbox today. Ian recently visited Naoshima island in Japan, an area which is apparently almost entirely dedicated to various kinds of modern art. Coming from Bennington like me, naturally Ian felt right at home among the many gallery installations of the eclectic, artsy, and weird, and sent along this picture which is, as near as I can tell, an army of tiny Ultramen [Ultramans?] facing down their cornered mirror image twins.
All right, that should cover it. When I can't even get the 30 minutes it takes for me to throw up those links, it's always a fair sign I've been busy. This week, postings might be sporadic, as Dave and Carrie's wedding is this weekend, and I'm not entirely sure what days I'll be busy with stuff related to that. Also hoping to find time to finish the next draft of "Untitled Willie Nelson Song." But we'll have to see.