On professionalism.

I have been trying to figure out how to move on. When Steven died, I basically turned this blog into a shrine for a week plus. It was nice, fitting, and I benefited from that. But giving it some thought, I've decided doing the same for Dad right now just wouldn't be right.

There are several reasons for this. The first is, Dad had a service, and I spoke at it. Much of that mourning process wasn't available with Bach, and what I did here was to make up for that fact. It also helped me to reach out to others, which, for the death of my father, isn't really going to help. There's a perspective I have on this that seems... unlikely to be matched.

And maybe, on some level, a lot of my life has been spent writing about my father. And a lot more of it will go to the same. Somehow, a week dedicated to writing about him doesn't strike me as much of a tribute in that context.

Other things. I wondered, earlier, if this space was doomed to become a mausoleum. Selfishly, I don't want that, because more selfishly, this place is often helpful to me. I don't want to lose that. More importantly, there is a level of professionalism I at least try [Re: pretend] to maintain here. I'm still writing, I'm still working. Things are happening on the projects I'm working on. And this blog is for that.

I guess it's important for me to stress I'm not okay. I'm not moving on yet, and things are a long way from getting better. My dad died. I can't think of anything that fixes that. Time, maybe. But I'm not feeling that right now. Something, though, tells me this isn't the place for my grief right now. We'll see if I feel the same way in the future.

The Mojo Wire marches on, however.