I have never understood why I hallucinate during a fever. I'm told it's atypical. I have always assumed it was some strange combination of my overactive imagination and my tendency towards nightmares when I dream, but no one's ever seemed alarmed by it, and I've always been able to recognize what I was seeing wasn't real. So I figure they're not dangerous.
Couple nights ago, however, I took no comfort in the fact that the brunette sitting at the foot of my bed watching over me wasn't real. Knowing I was just making it all up was actually worse -- like a cruel taunt, one that only made me feel more alone.
Which is just...stupid. When I'm sick, I'd rather be left alone. It's my way.
Anyway, I'm back, I'm not so sick anymore, and whatever the swelling on my neck was, it's almost completely gone, and doesn't hurt. Other than the swelling and my fever, the rest of my symptoms were ordinary, and I made pretty fast improvement by nursing a bottle of NyQuil and taking some loratadine [Re: Claritin]. All this, coupled with the fact that my symptoms improved after I'd gotten a little dehydrated, and taking into account John's advice on my previous post, makes me think the culprit was my usual offender of a deep sinus infection. I get them pretty regularly, mostly because I tend to overlook the minor annoyances of my seasonal allergies. As usual, I'm thinking I should take a little better care of myself.
Maybe a little bit of this is wishful thinking, but it's important to me that it isn't something contagious. I took every precaution possible [one of my scarves got downgraded to a medical mask when I left my room] because the thought of getting my grandmother sick is more than enough reason to quarantine myself for another three days. But I've been told that would be unnecessary and extreme, and the sensible part of me agrees, so...
Here's hoping.
It goes without saying I'm behind on my blog reading, and I'll be trying to catch up in the next couple of days. I have a few people getting me "Trendsetter" notes, likely the last I'll see before doing this next re-write, and I'm hoping to start that soon.
Less pressing, but most likely to get done sooner, I should be meeting with mom to get this land deal finalized in the next week, and hopefully ordering a laptop. The weather's turning around here, and unlikely though it sounds, it would be very tempting to polish off the script in my favorite cafe, or the steps of a church, or maybe in bed or on the couch or toilet like a legitimate writer might do [Ridiculous, of course. There has always been something vaguely sacrilegious to me about taking something I write with into a bathroom. I've lost more than a few pens sticking them behind the "W.C." sign and forgetting].
Probably go out this weekend. Feeling a little stir, and I tend to improve faster if I push myself a little. Honestly, I feel fine now. Little cough, little tired, but that's practically normal.
"Watchmen" is also upcoming, which is something of an event for me, though in what way would take more time to explain. Even I'm not quite sure. I've had plenty of time the past couple of days to read the original comic, and man... this is going to be something else, one way or the other. Yes, early reviews are already in. Have I looked?
Hard to say...
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Maybe something doesn't want you to be alone. Maybe it's something in your lobes or something in the clouds. Maybe you aren't alone at all. Are you alone right now, when I'm writing my words next to yours? How deep does this shit sound when you're high on nyquil? This'll blow your mind - is Tess a brunette?
All I'm saying is - did you really diss writing in the bathroom? Do you hate my blog that much?
John Wiswell
February 28, 2009 at 11:24 AM