I really don't like summer. The heat combined with my allergies tend to keep me up, which makes my usual bouts with insomnia all the more unpleasant. This week, as the mercury has taken up permanent residence around the 90 degree mark, I've felt like utter crap, just really sick since late Tuesday night, with my only real repose being the mid-morning hours where I can actually get a little cool air going.
If that wasn't bad enough, I've been chasing deadlines all week, and while I'm not missing them, I'm not quite where I want to be by my own schedule. I know it can't be helped, working while feeling bad is like running with ankle weights, and there's not a lot I can really do about it. I torture myself, though, because as big of a procrastinator as I am with my own work [firmly believe the really great stuff comes, like diamonds, from the pressure], I do like to keep my schedule, and falling behind means I really don't get to work on any of my personal projects.
I'd like to be writing another entry as far as my vacation goes [re: Diary of a Southern Gentleman], I had a rather cool idea for a couple of comic books I'd like to work on [re: Dr. Beyondo, something else], and there's a short I started almost a year ago that I want to get back to. But there's really no time for anything creative when I'm playing catch-up with work, and with stuff around the house, and I'm desperate to not wind up one of those poor bastards constantly bemoaning the fact they have no time to do what they want. The whole idea with the strange way I've chosen to live is supposed to make all that possible, and when it doesn't, I get irritated.
Creative spark has just not been firing like it should be, and I've been spending so much time with technique, and with style, that I feel like I'm neglecting the fact that, hey, I should be doing new work. Also, an artist? An artist would be rad, and nothing kills me more than seeing all these comic book tandems doing great work, and churning out stories all simpatico-like when I can't even whip out a script to have no one to hand to.
And I'm just going to say it, I blame this heat. Thompson said he "could never properly explain himself in this climate," and while I know he was referring to Vegas, for me this humid weather is keeping me from functioning at anything but half capacity. And I'll just say it, I feel guilty about it, about not producing, about not blogging, about not being able to muster the energy to even link things on Twitter in a regular sort of fashion. And that coupled with not sleeping puts me in this zombified state at five in the morning looking at Facebook and posting music videos mostly because of how easy Youtube has made it.
Being a laptop user without a desk also adds a whole new, crotch-roasting dynamic to the season.
I guess the ideal would be just to get away from the computer, do some normal, pen-and-paper writing, and get out and about and enjoy myself. Certainly a lot of that sort of thing happened while I was in Boston [every night, and every morning actually -- it was so weird just having a time when it was quiet and I could write]. But there's also something very... unfinished about that sort of writing. Notes are just things to be transcribed later, as is prose, or any other sort of story. You have to sit down with keys in front of you eventually.
I don't like this. I vaguely wish I could just... reverse hibernate.
Anyway, this week, and this weekend, is a wash. I have plans for something fun Sunday, and today is going to one of my last deadlines [for the time being]. Hoping things will cool off, or I'll rally, and I can get my shit together come Monday.
Cheers.
Showing posts with label Dr. Beyondo. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dr. Beyondo. Show all posts
Happy birthday, Kiddo.
And a happy New Year to everyone too.
Another odd holiday in this ever-stranger year. Looks like when this posts I'll be at Dave's doing the annual New Years celebration I've hosted the past four years. Most have been great, one went horribly, horribly awry [Optimus Prime ran over a cat, and apparently, dreams can fit in a dog house]...
Generally speaking, I'm against resolutions. The idea of picking one time a year to make promises to yourself and others, in some quest for self-betterment, well... it just implies the need for betterment, doesn't it? And in what world should we admit such weakness? Why not just call China up, while we're at it, and explain to them how our greatest weakness is that ever expanding world-debt that's just begging to be bought up...
Hm. I fear I've said too much.
Suppose I could make a few. Got to get that hard drive cleaned up and straightened out, once and for all, so all the porn and the music has it's place, and iTunes can stop whining every time I move a file. New headphones. Got to get that iPod filled up again.
Need to finish "The Trendsetter" -- really make that intolerable monster into a feature. But it's a beloved monster, isn't it, Bella? Kyle has already messaged me a few possibilities, and I've spent the day rolling them over in my head. It's amazing how the slightest feedback seems to rejuvenate my interest and creativity. I think I need an assistant. A secretary? Is that sexist?
Should find an alternative to Firefox, and to AIM. Trillian seems the best alternative to the latter... AIM's dug its spiny tendrils so deep into this computer I can only imagine how nasty excising it will be. Firefox, I will admit, is hard to see go -- but the damn thing chews up CPU so bad with its add-ons and such, I'm even considering Opera. *Shudders*
"Sort life out" should probably be on here. We'll put it as a tentative addition. Some shit shouldn't be rushed.
Get back to "The Familiar." She deserves to be finished too.
Badger Sam into doing a new comic with me. [Happy Birthday, kiddo!]
Get started on "Beyondo" projects [Re: Bride of Beyondo, Kid Beyondo]. Because those still just sound like fun.
Find other artists to work with. As a matter of fact, if you're reading this, and know someone who draws, or draw yourself and want to do a comic or some other kind of foray into graphical literature, e-mail me. Or get them to e-mail me. Or show me where to find their stuff so I can e-mail them.
Finish off that Joshi. Because really, I should have gotten to all that ages ago. Jesus.
And finally, most importantly, new ideas, greater ideas, more follow-through, and... a promise to this blog to not abandon it, when life picks up or doesn't.
Let's be honest -- this thing was a hard sell from the beginning. Few people could look at this blog and not see it as the masturbatory ramblings of a semi-creative manic depressive. And it's not like there aren't plenty of those on here. No, to stand this blog at all, I think you either have to believe in me very sincerely, or swallow the "production diary" conceit unquestionably. Otherwise, this really isn't much different than the millions or so other blogs out there that give nothing back to the iota of space they pollute on the internet.
That being said, I like having this blog. It's useful to me, to see where I've been, and to talk about where I'm going, and I think I walk the fine, acceptable line between too much information and rambling psychosis. It's also helpful because it's always here, particularly at four or five in the morning where I can't sleep and the fear has gripped me to the point of panic and self-loathing. That's a commitment that I've yet to get from, well, anyone, and just the act of sitting here, typing something up, laying out all the priorities or bitching a little lets me find the center again. So for that, it's a wonderful tool, and one I plan to keep.
Much as tonight is the celebration of the New Year, it is also, in my mind, the celebration of three + months of toiling here, and the 15-20 posts I manage a month, I am pleased. Would I like it to be everyday? Absolutely, and I have that to shoot for, but I have surpassed my own expectations in my commitment to this blog, and I can only hope I can keep with it. I think I actually get pleasure from this. Onward, and upward.
My hope is to find other places to snake the Mojo Wire. Importing it to Facebook will likely be the next step, but is there more? I'll look into it. The reasons for this expansion is largely, unsurprisingly, for the attention -- for finding people who will care. But there's also, I think, a greater possibility in all this, that maybe someone else out there who's creative, and isolated, might be able to use what I'm doing as a template, and find the same use for this that I have.
Then again, I'd probably have to keep at this for many more years before anything that redeeming might happen. Ah, that selflessness and selfishness were less than four letters from one another.
I have a few regulars. I've found a use for my soapbox that I don't entirely loathe myself for. That's a win, or at least a television serial "we still have two seasons left" draw. And I'll take that.
Some people who need thanking. John, and Justin, and Glen, all of whom served as examples that a blog doesn't have to be a whorish-shrine to hubristic self-importance. Sam, who's helped me vent. Ian, for assuring me this doesn't suck, and the book. Kyle, for "The Trendsetter." Anna, for the inspiration. Andrew, for something to listen to while I'm posting. Hillary, for the headphones, which have suddenly made listening to something all the more interesting. Ally, for "Dr. Beyondo" and Bruce Lee. Laura, for Calamity and Tana Cash. Carrie, for the 9x9's. Hunter, for the justification of the dream. The Gin Blossoms and Kaki King. The Motor City Machineguns. The Chinese Take-out place that's down the street from me. Sure I've missed a few.
Happy New Year, folks. Shalom.
Another odd holiday in this ever-stranger year. Looks like when this posts I'll be at Dave's doing the annual New Years celebration I've hosted the past four years. Most have been great, one went horribly, horribly awry [Optimus Prime ran over a cat, and apparently, dreams can fit in a dog house]...
Generally speaking, I'm against resolutions. The idea of picking one time a year to make promises to yourself and others, in some quest for self-betterment, well... it just implies the need for betterment, doesn't it? And in what world should we admit such weakness? Why not just call China up, while we're at it, and explain to them how our greatest weakness is that ever expanding world-debt that's just begging to be bought up...
Hm. I fear I've said too much.
Suppose I could make a few. Got to get that hard drive cleaned up and straightened out, once and for all, so all the porn and the music has it's place, and iTunes can stop whining every time I move a file. New headphones. Got to get that iPod filled up again.
Need to finish "The Trendsetter" -- really make that intolerable monster into a feature. But it's a beloved monster, isn't it, Bella? Kyle has already messaged me a few possibilities, and I've spent the day rolling them over in my head. It's amazing how the slightest feedback seems to rejuvenate my interest and creativity. I think I need an assistant. A secretary? Is that sexist?
Should find an alternative to Firefox, and to AIM. Trillian seems the best alternative to the latter... AIM's dug its spiny tendrils so deep into this computer I can only imagine how nasty excising it will be. Firefox, I will admit, is hard to see go -- but the damn thing chews up CPU so bad with its add-ons and such, I'm even considering Opera. *Shudders*
"Sort life out" should probably be on here. We'll put it as a tentative addition. Some shit shouldn't be rushed.
Get back to "The Familiar." She deserves to be finished too.
Badger Sam into doing a new comic with me. [Happy Birthday, kiddo!]
Get started on "Beyondo" projects [Re: Bride of Beyondo, Kid Beyondo]. Because those still just sound like fun.
Find other artists to work with. As a matter of fact, if you're reading this, and know someone who draws, or draw yourself and want to do a comic or some other kind of foray into graphical literature, e-mail me. Or get them to e-mail me. Or show me where to find their stuff so I can e-mail them.
Finish off that Joshi. Because really, I should have gotten to all that ages ago. Jesus.
And finally, most importantly, new ideas, greater ideas, more follow-through, and... a promise to this blog to not abandon it, when life picks up or doesn't.
Let's be honest -- this thing was a hard sell from the beginning. Few people could look at this blog and not see it as the masturbatory ramblings of a semi-creative manic depressive. And it's not like there aren't plenty of those on here. No, to stand this blog at all, I think you either have to believe in me very sincerely, or swallow the "production diary" conceit unquestionably. Otherwise, this really isn't much different than the millions or so other blogs out there that give nothing back to the iota of space they pollute on the internet.
That being said, I like having this blog. It's useful to me, to see where I've been, and to talk about where I'm going, and I think I walk the fine, acceptable line between too much information and rambling psychosis. It's also helpful because it's always here, particularly at four or five in the morning where I can't sleep and the fear has gripped me to the point of panic and self-loathing. That's a commitment that I've yet to get from, well, anyone, and just the act of sitting here, typing something up, laying out all the priorities or bitching a little lets me find the center again. So for that, it's a wonderful tool, and one I plan to keep.
Much as tonight is the celebration of the New Year, it is also, in my mind, the celebration of three + months of toiling here, and the 15-20 posts I manage a month, I am pleased. Would I like it to be everyday? Absolutely, and I have that to shoot for, but I have surpassed my own expectations in my commitment to this blog, and I can only hope I can keep with it. I think I actually get pleasure from this. Onward, and upward.
My hope is to find other places to snake the Mojo Wire. Importing it to Facebook will likely be the next step, but is there more? I'll look into it. The reasons for this expansion is largely, unsurprisingly, for the attention -- for finding people who will care. But there's also, I think, a greater possibility in all this, that maybe someone else out there who's creative, and isolated, might be able to use what I'm doing as a template, and find the same use for this that I have.
Then again, I'd probably have to keep at this for many more years before anything that redeeming might happen. Ah, that selflessness and selfishness were less than four letters from one another.
I have a few regulars. I've found a use for my soapbox that I don't entirely loathe myself for. That's a win, or at least a television serial "we still have two seasons left" draw. And I'll take that.
Some people who need thanking. John, and Justin, and Glen, all of whom served as examples that a blog doesn't have to be a whorish-shrine to hubristic self-importance. Sam, who's helped me vent. Ian, for assuring me this doesn't suck, and the book. Kyle, for "The Trendsetter." Anna, for the inspiration. Andrew, for something to listen to while I'm posting. Hillary, for the headphones, which have suddenly made listening to something all the more interesting. Ally, for "Dr. Beyondo" and Bruce Lee. Laura, for Calamity and Tana Cash. Carrie, for the 9x9's. Hunter, for the justification of the dream. The Gin Blossoms and Kaki King. The Motor City Machineguns. The Chinese Take-out place that's down the street from me. Sure I've missed a few.
Happy New Year, folks. Shalom.
Late nights with Zombiefriedkin.
Sunday -- usually the least productive I can be.
Today was okay. Sam posted pictures of her new friends and shenanigans on Facebook. Interesting to see. Makes me wish there were more people here I was close to, but this is what it is. She has a friend, a girl in the pictures named "Cameron Van Sant." Creepy, yes, but it gave me an idea. "Dr. Beyondo" comic had hit a wall, needed another super for it [Re: Bride of Beyondo]. Girl has a good look, so adding a new character based on, the team's muscle, named "Sun Sharda." Won't play in heavily, but everyone likes a little cheesecake.
Played around with that . Possible powers, a few funny beats with her, the costume. Think it fits idea. Came out with a second character to, a "Psi-girl," Portia, I think. Not as glamorous as the beauty queen, but when she gets angry, she makes things float. Imagine being able to read minds, but being so transparent that there's no edge to it. Just evens the playing field. Must thank Sam for the burst of inspiration. Always catch her as she's off to bed.
Mild Beyondo crisis. Teleporter in first story [Re: Bride of Beyond] was originally going to be part albino, with white hair. Have other idea for teleporter who's blind, comically called "Nowhere Man." Since Kid Beyondo [Re: Kid Beyondo] also has white hair, not sure if I want to make white hair indicative of something in the Beyondo-verse, or if I just want to replace the albino to keep the Kid unique. Likely to go with first instinct, and keep as is, particularly with "Nowhere Man" being little more than hold out from when I thought I might write X-Men one day. Keeping these original and off-the-cuff seem wiser.
Talked to Savannah extensively tonight. She likes the pilot idea quite a bit [Re: Sweet Home]. Wished she'd have stuck around longer, felt like she was about to give some really good advice on this ensemble thing. Instead, got into a conversation about the nature of the beast, and compromise.
In general, I am against compromise. Sounds arrogant, but I believe enough in my grasp of story-structure and characters that I don't believe my mistakes in those areas are many. Largely, any changes that would be asked to be made would be, by that reasoning, ridiculous. This is not seen as good by people in Savannah's business. And she is far more weathered in that world.
On flip side, can't imagine what I'd be asked to change, and don't honestly see point in fighting over inconsequential things. Expect most people in power positions would ask for changes in areas that were unimportant. Often, same stories work even when story is different. I would fight more over a look, a turn of phrase, or character than a story arc or a plot point. Find it more likely the latter would be asked of me.
Feel like Savannah was frustrated with me. It looks, in this situations, like I was being curmudgeonly, immobile. Fair call. But I think I have some convictions, and would be less likely to see things as compromise that most people do. Perception strikes again.
Even pilot [Re: Sweet Home] is the result of compromise. Name was originally "White Trash Nation" and "The Living Dead." Found new name just as a haunting and sad. When Mandalay looked at "Un-filmable," Robin Budd liked the character interactions, the small town dynamic, the environment. Exists in most work; but this was just a chance to draw it into focus. Seems fun.
In my head, not a compromise. To some people, even Savannah, "compromise." So I don't know. Maybe I'm not so bad.
It's a difficult situation. In my current, unemployed state, answer to no one. Justin asked to do a comic [Re: Calamity Cash and the Town with No Name], was gracious for what I did...probably, thankfully would have accepted less. But I had complete room to move. Really, even mainstream comics are like that. Marvel prints "Kick Ass." Garth Ennis gets work. There's no code, and even if I had a more mainstream comic, likely wouldn't be told what to put in it, and what not to put in it. Told Savannah that at times, would laugh at how much you can get away with in the medium, and how much worse I could be than I actually was.
Sometimes, it's why I think I like movies. I could feasibly just write it, and sell it. They could make the changes. Not everything, some things I'm too close too [Re: The Familiar]...wouldn't stand for someone else doing a draft of them, or even making the tiniest change. Other things? I would have no problem seeing changed from script to screen. My job is done in the finished project. Might even re-write idea, any way they wanted, if they'd pay. Maybe a sellout. Maybe that's the beast. Don't know.
Having not been asked lately, not sure where I'd draw the line. Would re-write "Fight Club," but not "Lolita." WWAMD? [Re: What Would Alan Moore Do?] Hope Savannah understands. Don't want to make her think I'm sabotaging myself. Haven't done enough to be difficult...too difficult. And I really appreciate her taking time with me. Hope there's more.
She's doing well, but like many of us, unhappy. Justified, I'd say. We all are. Saying otherwise is a loss in this war we don't need. On upside, she might have the opportunity to turn one of her shorts from school [which I was a villain... and she was nice not to tell me how bad I was], called the "Goth Squad." Comedy. Goth kids who solve mysteries. Would work well as a webisode. Hope I get better internet before it gets off the ground.
Got a bit of hypochondria today. Went to WedMD [dangerous place], entered symptoms, saw a list with all my worst fears on it. Also saw "caffeine abuse" and "insomnia." Often times, simplest answer is the true one. I'm fine, just paranoid. Need to grow up.
Ran into kid I went to high school today. Punker type. Seem to remember him being in the military, used to see him a lot at mall while working there. Have forgotten his name, when I got his phone number, put it into my phone as "Johnny" [Re: The Familiar]. He called me "good people." Guess not that good. Still got his number... who knows if I'll call. Both in different worlds. Or maybe not. Maybe mine's just more hipster around the edges, and his more hardcore.
The same things can look very different. Or maybe insulting to his situation to be parallel to mine.
Shalom.
Today was okay. Sam posted pictures of her new friends and shenanigans on Facebook. Interesting to see. Makes me wish there were more people here I was close to, but this is what it is. She has a friend, a girl in the pictures named "Cameron Van Sant." Creepy, yes, but it gave me an idea. "Dr. Beyondo" comic had hit a wall, needed another super for it [Re: Bride of Beyondo]. Girl has a good look, so adding a new character based on, the team's muscle, named "Sun Sharda." Won't play in heavily, but everyone likes a little cheesecake.
Played around with that . Possible powers, a few funny beats with her, the costume. Think it fits idea. Came out with a second character to, a "Psi-girl," Portia, I think. Not as glamorous as the beauty queen, but when she gets angry, she makes things float. Imagine being able to read minds, but being so transparent that there's no edge to it. Just evens the playing field. Must thank Sam for the burst of inspiration. Always catch her as she's off to bed.
Mild Beyondo crisis. Teleporter in first story [Re: Bride of Beyond] was originally going to be part albino, with white hair. Have other idea for teleporter who's blind, comically called "Nowhere Man." Since Kid Beyondo [Re: Kid Beyondo] also has white hair, not sure if I want to make white hair indicative of something in the Beyondo-verse, or if I just want to replace the albino to keep the Kid unique. Likely to go with first instinct, and keep as is, particularly with "Nowhere Man" being little more than hold out from when I thought I might write X-Men one day. Keeping these original and off-the-cuff seem wiser.
Talked to Savannah extensively tonight. She likes the pilot idea quite a bit [Re: Sweet Home]. Wished she'd have stuck around longer, felt like she was about to give some really good advice on this ensemble thing. Instead, got into a conversation about the nature of the beast, and compromise.
In general, I am against compromise. Sounds arrogant, but I believe enough in my grasp of story-structure and characters that I don't believe my mistakes in those areas are many. Largely, any changes that would be asked to be made would be, by that reasoning, ridiculous. This is not seen as good by people in Savannah's business. And she is far more weathered in that world.
On flip side, can't imagine what I'd be asked to change, and don't honestly see point in fighting over inconsequential things. Expect most people in power positions would ask for changes in areas that were unimportant. Often, same stories work even when story is different. I would fight more over a look, a turn of phrase, or character than a story arc or a plot point. Find it more likely the latter would be asked of me.
Feel like Savannah was frustrated with me. It looks, in this situations, like I was being curmudgeonly, immobile. Fair call. But I think I have some convictions, and would be less likely to see things as compromise that most people do. Perception strikes again.
Even pilot [Re: Sweet Home] is the result of compromise. Name was originally "White Trash Nation" and "The Living Dead." Found new name just as a haunting and sad. When Mandalay looked at "Un-filmable," Robin Budd liked the character interactions, the small town dynamic, the environment. Exists in most work; but this was just a chance to draw it into focus. Seems fun.
In my head, not a compromise. To some people, even Savannah, "compromise." So I don't know. Maybe I'm not so bad.
It's a difficult situation. In my current, unemployed state, answer to no one. Justin asked to do a comic [Re: Calamity Cash and the Town with No Name], was gracious for what I did...probably, thankfully would have accepted less. But I had complete room to move. Really, even mainstream comics are like that. Marvel prints "Kick Ass." Garth Ennis gets work. There's no code, and even if I had a more mainstream comic, likely wouldn't be told what to put in it, and what not to put in it. Told Savannah that at times, would laugh at how much you can get away with in the medium, and how much worse I could be than I actually was.
Sometimes, it's why I think I like movies. I could feasibly just write it, and sell it. They could make the changes. Not everything, some things I'm too close too [Re: The Familiar]...wouldn't stand for someone else doing a draft of them, or even making the tiniest change. Other things? I would have no problem seeing changed from script to screen. My job is done in the finished project. Might even re-write idea, any way they wanted, if they'd pay. Maybe a sellout. Maybe that's the beast. Don't know.
Having not been asked lately, not sure where I'd draw the line. Would re-write "Fight Club," but not "Lolita." WWAMD? [Re: What Would Alan Moore Do?] Hope Savannah understands. Don't want to make her think I'm sabotaging myself. Haven't done enough to be difficult...too difficult. And I really appreciate her taking time with me. Hope there's more.
She's doing well, but like many of us, unhappy. Justified, I'd say. We all are. Saying otherwise is a loss in this war we don't need. On upside, she might have the opportunity to turn one of her shorts from school [which I was a villain... and she was nice not to tell me how bad I was], called the "Goth Squad." Comedy. Goth kids who solve mysteries. Would work well as a webisode. Hope I get better internet before it gets off the ground.
Got a bit of hypochondria today. Went to WedMD [dangerous place], entered symptoms, saw a list with all my worst fears on it. Also saw "caffeine abuse" and "insomnia." Often times, simplest answer is the true one. I'm fine, just paranoid. Need to grow up.
Ran into kid I went to high school today. Punker type. Seem to remember him being in the military, used to see him a lot at mall while working there. Have forgotten his name, when I got his phone number, put it into my phone as "Johnny" [Re: The Familiar]. He called me "good people." Guess not that good. Still got his number... who knows if I'll call. Both in different worlds. Or maybe not. Maybe mine's just more hipster around the edges, and his more hardcore.
The same things can look very different. Or maybe insulting to his situation to be parallel to mine.
Shalom.
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