Help a friend of the Mojo Wire family: Liver Donor Needed for Teen Boy

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This is the headline over on friend of the Mojo Wire's John Wiswell's blog the Bathroom Monologues.His youngest cousin was born with cystic fibrosis, which means this kid has been fighting every single day of his life, and now his liver is failing. Will’s blood type is A, and so he requires either an A or O-donor. The details are better covered on John's blog - but spreading this as far and wide as you can would mean a great deal to me, because it would mean a great deal to John, and most importantly, it'd save a boy's life.

Spare a moment, and spread the word. I know the internet has made us all cynical to stuff like this, but this is legit. The world's a nasty, dastardly place to good people - but we can hit it back with kindness, folks.

HUGE podcast tonight - Sarah Crow Q&A with Savannah Dooley

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I meant to post about this last night, but I fell asleep. An odd turn of events for me. Luckily, I got in a little pimpage for it on Facebook, but I really wanted to get the word out on this.


You may remember last week I sat down with Sarah Crow and had a long conversation about the impending zombie apocalypse, hipsters, boats, and bath salts. Now, no, just for the sake of clarification, I'm not involved in this next one [which automatically improves the quality 410%, I'd imagine], but writer/producer/fellow Bennington ex-pat Savannah Dooley is, meaning two of my favorite ladies are going to be doing a "Between Two Ferns" thing on Sarah's Spreecast channel tonight at 10 PM eastern, 7 PM Pacific.

Sarah will be doing a Q&A with Savannah about her short-lived, but totally awesome television show "Huge," not to mention tying up some loose ends about where things would have went if ABC Family was totally mental, along with more serious commentary about the state of society's collective body image [hint: fucked up], and really anything the else Sarah and her audience comes up with to ask her. [She's a mad talented writer for instance - that might be something people want to get her to talk about, hint hint.] Savannah's incredibly skilled when it comes to dialogging about these sorts of things, and is always incredibly funny, if you have ever had an opportunity to know her and her work, so one can only imagine when paired with the equally hilarious Sarah Crow, the show should be a really great time.

I was a big fan of "Huge," really big fan of Savannah getting her work out there like that, and blogged about it on a couple of occasion, too. So if you're painfully out of the loop, hit Google, or click the "Huge" tag at the end of this post.

Check it out.
What: Q+A w/ 'Huge' Creator Savannah Dooley
When: 10:00 EDT

Thoughts on "Prometheus"

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I don't actually know if this will warrant "SPOILERS" or not, so read at your own risk.


Probably the first and most important thing I can say about Ridley Scott's "Prometheus" is that I enjoyed the experience of seeing it, and despite the feelings on it that I have settling in, I'd recommend most go, and work out their own feelings on the movie just the same. It is the sort of work that perhaps I must damn with faint praise, ranking it in line with things like Christopher Nolan's "Inception" or James Cameron's "Avatar" - a beautiful film which might be just a little too in love with itself, it's own vision and mythology, all of which is propped up with too much exposition [that might not, in fact, tell you much] a sort of shallow philosophy that I imagine must resonate with someone, if only for the fact of shared experience.

In many ways, comparing "Prometheus" to "Inception" and "Avatar" is the fairest thing to do. They are all films that will appeal to a certain kind of fan, perhaps not just of science fiction, and not necessarily all the same kind of fan. Though there will be people who will herald all three as favorites, I imagine there will be less crossover than some might expect, each camp using their movie over the other two as "why this is good, and the rest are not." Still, it is my belief the three will find a home together when it comes to film discussion, and to me that feels right, as all three are the same strange mix of entertaining and disappointing, deep and superficial. 

But perhaps I am showing bias, as my experience with all three were decidedly similar, especially "Prometheus" and Nolan's "Inception." I left both with the strong urge to see them again, not necessarily out of that "Lord of the Rings" level of enjoyment or fandom, but because of a pervasive feeling of puzzlement, a need to look at this rather complex machine of parts both moving and not that managed to suggest motion even when still. What's moving here, what isn't? Is this feeling that there's something at work I'm not seeing truth, or a kind of hoax, a pandering trick of the narrative to make feel think more is going on than there actually is? Can what I'm looking at, watching, and again, enjoying, stand up to any sort of scrutiny, can it be figured out, are there answers to the questions it poses? Is my wonder the result of an artistic stirring, or have I fallen for some elaborate trick, it is all just humbug? 

These kinds of movies spur me to figure such things out - they want analysis, they ask to be discussed by merely being, to be dissected, argued over, perhaps endlessly. In some ways, their biggest accomplishment is to stir a second screening, even in an ambivalent or casual viewer. It would be easy to dismiss this instinct as the film student in me, but I personally don't believe that to be the case, as I think my inclination to approach everything with a critical eye doesn't preclude some works being presented as something which should be approached in such a way. [To wit: perhaps no one involved in the movies' creation ever expected my philosophy thesis on "Death Wish" and "Kill Bill," or Jonathon Lethem's novella of essays on "They Live," but your "2001s," your "All the President's Mens" - these were movies made in hopes to get their audiences thinking, not just about the issues they address, but the craft and presentation involved as well.]

And I suppose there is the other compliment I have for "Prometheus" and the trinity I've appointed it a part of: in this it is successful, and thus a surprise to me, and joy, that films like it [and "Avatar," and "Inception"] can get made, and made on the blockbuster level of movies. That anything remotely cerebral can boast both the hype, the budget, the opening of something like a "Harry Potter" or an "Avengers" is a joy to me, and a callback to a time I consider to be bygone. A time when a blockbuster could be artistically and intellectually relevant, along with entertaining.

Is "Prometheus" entertaining? In it's way. The movie was built around the performance of Micheal Fassbender, and it shows - his character of the android David is the movie's centerpiece [whether he should be or not is an argument for later], and thus he is given the best lines, some of the best moments, and his machinations within the film are the most enjoyable, if not unsettling. There is something remarkably teenage-like in his movements, his shallowness and ego, his puckish sensibility and the fact that we feel as though he's the character truly in mid-growth. There's a charming subtly to the character, in both dialogue and performance, and even if I had despised every moment of "Prometheus" I feel I would be compelled to return to it if only for this singular character. Furthermore, he feels unique - a step between something, a missing link in the robots we've seen portrayed on screen - somewhere between the eponymous Wall-E and Alien's Bishop, or the Replicants [I thought back often to the failed "AI" - a character like David was ultimately the linchpin missing from whatever that pile was attempting to say].

The cast is talented and interesting, though greatly lacking in character - specifically things to do, and things to say. As actresses, both Noomi Rapace and Charlize Theron [particularly the former] had the potential, especially with their characters, to blow Sigourney Weaver and Ripley out of the water, as both boast a level of craft and presence quite a bit greater than Scott's original female protagonist, which is saying something. However, the end result lands far shorter, their characters are too skeletal, and though both are trying to bring an extra level to the basic archetypes they're portraying, Theron doesn't have enough to build from, and Rapace's real brilliance seems to be snatched out of nowhere, dragging along the clunky dialogue and "I can never be a mother" cliche as best it can [which might have built into one of the movie's more horrific scenes if not introduced only as an afterthought], never quite able to compensate for the dead weight. 

The rest of the characters are unremarkable, again a shame, because this cast is exceptional, and chews up the scenery despite not being given much in the way of teeth. The crew is mostly made up of working stiffs, as if they are there to fulfill the jobs necessary on a mission like Prometheus's, and thus each seems to have little in the way of an opinion as it concerns the movie's action. Is this some sort of subliminal commentary on the unthinking working drones, who never look hard enough at anything in the world to inform something resembling a worthwhile belief or point of view? Maybe, it certainly feels diminutive towards them, but ultimately, really, they are all just expendables, "Red Shirts" in the science fiction vernacular. They don't feel like they matter, so should we care they have nothing that matters to say?

Ideally, but in this case, not really. The original "Alien" is almost equally dismissive of it's supporting characters, and while I wish those who were being picked off one-by-one had a little more to make me care about their deaths ["Cabin in the Woods" did a better job this summer when it came to making me give a damn about those I knew *had* to die], it would be necessary to keep me going. Still, much how "Prometheus" asks to be discussed, it's underlying philosophy - some great but vague tie between faith and science - cries out for more perspectives, which are never really given.

The horror aspect of the film is what will bring many to the table, and sadly, is not really there. Sure, there are some absolutely squirm-worthy moments in the movie, and I was left writhing in my seat on more than a couple of occasions. And that's good. I enjoyed those scenes, and would mark them as the movies greatest accomplishments - both memorable and frightening. One in particular even manages to recall Alien's unique brand of suspense, body horror, and claustrophobia, all in one frightening and desperate scene. Sure, it's not a traditional scare, nothing here is, but it's very, very strong, and hopefully what the film will be remembered for. There's also a nice level of... I am reticent to say "suspense" in the film, but from the very beginning, something is decidedly, deliciously uncomfortable about "Prometheus," and this feeling doesn't abate until very late in the film, about at the same time of the horrific scene which I have only vaguely mentioned here, which on thinking further about I'd call the movie's too early crescendo.

Losing that feeling is disappointing, especially as it begins the ending sequence, a series of fairly standard scifi and action cliches to tie everything up, suddenly turning what has presented itself as a thinking man's movie [again, whether it actually is or isn't is not relevant to this point] into a montage of events you don't need to be a first year film student to call. Everything you think is going to happen does, and the manic violence isn't bad, it just feels out of place. Other things that should be more frightening are presented too clean, too clinically to actually warrant a good scare, or even build the suspense that isn't quite there. Perhaps this is just a side-effect of the beauty of "Prometheus," a rare case of something being lost in the way it was shot; more likely, this sense of removal from the action springs from the convoluted nature in which the movie explores creation through science - selfless, cold, and composed, as if it's all an experiment behind glass.

Like most summer movies do now, the film boast two endings, though not in the after-credits sense [nothing negative meant, I do love some post-credits shawarma], the one I will designate as the first taking place between Rapace's Shaw and Fassbender's David, struck me as particularly satisfying. Shaw's decision not to discard her faith after all she's seen, and perhaps less importantly, not to return home, but rather continue to seek out her creators, her Engineers, to confront them and ask why they've forsaken us, hits a powerful yet simplistic cord, one that recalls for me the overarching plot of Garth Ennis's comic masterpiece "Preacher." So while not new, it remains novel, this idea that God and Faith are separate, and because of that, the former becomes something that can be tracked down and held accountable, while the latter is the sword said tracker will wield on just such a crusade. 

David's reaction is noteworthy too - a sort of bargaining for his own life, a calm, yet striking call back to very human stages of grief. Pinocchio becoming a real boy, in far more frightening and violent circumstances. Ultimately, "Prometheus" doesn't feel like it earns either of these realizations or transformations in the characters, but the actors believe and the sentiments are strong, novel, and ring true. Better buildup would be wonderful, but success is achieved nonetheless. It left this viewer ultimately satisfied, more willing to forgive the science-or-religion-or-both cliche, and the hollow structure that props that particular conundrum up.

What I consider the film's second ending is more problematic - though a  fist pump moment for the fan in me, and a practical necessity for anything so tied to "Alien," I almost wish it hadn't happened. "Prometheus" has a lot of flaws, but it's biggest handicap, whether you deem it successful or not, is its tie to such a classic in genre. Most have said far more enjoyment can be found by divorcing "Prometheus" from "Alien," and I do believe there is some truth in that, so having the progenitor of one of the most famous monsters in film pop up at the end feels damaging to "Prometheus" as a work unto itself. Other nods to "Alien" are equally vexing - things are smoother, newer, presented as prototypes to the violent legacy to come. And sure, some satisfaction can be gleaned from a tip of the hat to the source material here and there, but it mostly serves to remind the viewer they are not watching "Alien."

An aside; I can't help but wonder how much of  "Prometheus" suffers from both the absence and lingering presence of H.R.Giger. As Giger's designs are clearly the basis for much of what we're seeing, those things built off of them, not directly a part of his designs, feel like derivatives, even deviations. "Prometheus" struggles - it is very much a part of "Alien's" world [or "Alien" is a part of its], but these incongruities distract, leaving it half anchored. Not quite it's own thing, but not something entirely new, either, and uncomfortable as whatever that is.

Yet despite all its problems, "Prometheus" cannot easily be dismissed. It calls back to a Kubrick-style of filmmaking not often seen anymore, the artistic blockbuster, the big-budget exploration of an autuer, not necessarily looking for audience, but expecting an audience nevertheless. A movie presented on a level and in an arena  more often reserved for popcorn escapism, it at least attempts for something more, while demanding tolerance for its ideas, even if not outlining perfectly just what those ideas are. Yes, it's brazen, but perhaps that sort of audacity deserves it's own bit of respect.

Still, the story feels too simple for the scope of its themes, each beat happening more because it feels like it has to, rather than developing organically, and while "plot holes" are the least of the movies problems, many will see them as sticking points for the overall experience. Smaller, more charming aspects of the experience are lost in a lot of the spectacle as well, and "Prometheus" will struggle with this - if it's a movie that demands to be seen again, it could make the experience a little more riveting early on, but the glacial pace of the film's first half is always going to be a bit of a bore to get through. The characters' lack of development remains problematic too - if this was just an action movie, or one of the summer standards "Prometheus" finds itself sharing the marquee with, maybe that wouldn't matter, but what looks like big ideas are being presented here, and the characters who engage with those ideas are as important - if not more - than any supposition the movie dares to present about the nature of, well - anything. These are the shortcomings of the experience that is "Prometheus," and yet somehow, "Prometheus" remains an experience still.

As part of the trinity I mentioned before, those equally flawed and self-indulgent money-sinks "Inception" and "Avatar," "Prometheus" asks for much, and gives very little in return. And like with those, the highest compliment I can give it will sound like a disappointing condemnation to some, and a ringing endorsement to others - that I wouldn't mind seeing it again.


It goes without saying, but what did you think? About "Prometheus" or my response. If you expect your comments are going to be an essay unto themselves, email them to me. I'll post them as guest blogs, with your permission.

Brains for Lunch - "Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse" with Sarah Crow

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Doing anything at lunch?

I'll be joining Sarah Crow on her Spreecast channel today at 12:00 EDT as the resident [evil] zombie expert, as we discuss the Causeway Cannibal incident and the undead apocalypse that's apparently starting in... uh, Florida.

Well, I mean, if you had to guess, right?

Show starts at noon on Spreecast. Come, watch, shoot us questions about the zombie horde and watch as I lose my v-log virginity. And if you miss it, you can watch it in Sarah's Channel's archives at any time after. So there's no excuse!

What: Sarah Crow's Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse
When: 12:00:00 EDT

The long road home.

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I have been away for awhile. That's not what this post is about. 

"Calamity Cash and the Town with No Name" is finished, and off to the printers for an initial run of around ten. Test copies, I suppose you could say, but still a fairly big milestone for myself, and for my illustrator Justin Cornell, and or third collaborator, Laura Calandros.

"Town with No Name" is kind of a unique project. It's existence predates this blog, and even predates Justin's involvement. I was just coming out of my dry spell, my post-Bennington, non-writing funk, and was sort of adamant about all my projects I had coming up. Nothing stable, or money-making, or anything like that, but for the first time since graduation my mind felt fertile again, and I had a remarkable focus, at least for me. One night while out with Laura, she mentioned an idea she had, and played a song for me, the latter of which I don't remember the name of, the former, the mother/daughter vigilante team who would eventually become Calamity and Tana Cash. Laura had the name for the daughter, the eponymous "Calamity Cash," but not the mother, and not much else. She sort of graciously said if I  had any ideas, I could play with her toys, and play I did, sketching out a rough, Kill Bill-meets-Hunter S. Thompson-inspired modern day western. 

These original stories mimicked what appears in "Town with No Name" in spirit, but boasted a more over-arching storyline, and every bit of popular culture inspired craziness I could come up with. I sketched out a series bible, some rough storylines, all that, but didn't have an artist lined up, and wasn't entirely sure anyone would be all that interested in getting involved in a "Preacher-with-women"-style of thing. [All of this work still exists, somewhere, and there is still a part of me that very much wants to tell these stories. Who knows what comes next? Let's keep talking about what came first.]

I was approached by Justin who was looking for something to draw, a comic-related project which he could get some practice in on, and try and judge how he'd work, how fast he'd work, what equipment he'd need, etc. It was kind of a "jump right into the deep end" way of learning, and I thought it was ballsy as hell of him, and was equally excited because I though a Calamity Cash story would be the best thing for what he was talking about trying to do. People who have seen my comic work know it's not terribly dynamic - my paneling leaves a lot to be desired, I mostly leave layout decisions to artists [or did back then], and the bulk of the story is usually people talking back and forth to each other, Clerks-style. So something with some action, something that would allow Justin to dip into a bunch of different genres, and try out a lot of different things - well, that was something else a project like Calamity Cash was perfect for. And the chance to show Laura her Calamity and Mama Cash kicking ass seemed like a nice perk too.

I took about six months on the script, partly because of a breakup, and partly because I was struggling with just what story in my whole Calamity Cash canon would be best to tell. There were things I wanted to get in, and again, I wanted a story with as much actiony-stuff as talky-stuff. I was basically in what Steven Bach would call a George Lucas situation, where I needed to look at all the stories I had to tell, and pick the one - the "New Hope" of the bunch which was closest to a story with everything I needed, and everything a story needed - particularly a complete narrative, a beginning, a middle, and an end.

"Town with No Name" was the winner of the bunch.

And then it got kind of out of hand on my end. I'd written a lot of comic scripts at the time, very little ever getting made, and it probably would have been smarter had I stuck to something simpler in style. But since Justin was approaching this as practice, I thought I would too, and try and stretch what I was capable of. For Justin's sake, I really shouldn't have. But I went with something complicated, because I wanted to see if I could. And in writing that complicated thing, what was supposed to be a 25-ish page comic became a 45 or 46 page monster.

Might have been fine. 52 pages with the supplemental material we wanted to put in it, that would have been large, but still comic-sized, still what most printers are comfortable doing without tossing us into graphic novel territory.

When I finished, I felt sort of bad at the project's size, but Justin wasn't phased by it, or at least didn't seem so. I think maybe he felt like if he was going to dive into the deep end of the pool, what was twice as much water anyway? And with the extra time I'd taken to put together so much content, work on "Calamity Cash and the The Town with No Name" started, fittingly, slightly behind schedule.

It would be a trend. Justin speaks about it much more eloquently in this post on his blog, though there were also a lot of outside factors, some on his end, some on mine. In the four plus years we've spent working on this thing together, I've watched Justin grow, and change, nearly lose an eye, throw out his back, move a couple of times, get married, and become an uncle. And probably a hundred different things that I never bothered to write down, nor did he, which will just be reserved to our late night conversations in the IHOP about what kind of desk or chair might make his job easier, or how certain "artistic staples" might only be around to make the work harder. And alligator clips. How alligator clips are worth their weight in gold.

And then, there's me. I re-wrote "Calamity Cash and the Town with No Name" at one point, after roughly half of the pages had already been drawn. I honestly can't recall if this was requested, or something I just decided to do - I believe it might have been the latter, however, as I had to rewrite one or two lines, and suddenly kicked into editor mode, and wound up doing the whole last half of the book. So not only did that stall things out for a short period of time, it also significantly altered some later stuff in the book, and changes had to be made to earlier parts as well - even though I tried very hard to avoid that [now there's a interesting writing/editing practice for you writer types out there - make sweeping changes to the end of story without touching it's beginning. Note: if you like callbacks, you will hate this "exercise"].

Naturally, as we were coming near the end, some... incongruities were starting to become clear to us. For clarification's sake, I've always found Justin's art to be tip top, but as he got more comfortable working on the page, and got better at setting his own layouts up, he started to voice concern about the first half of the book and the last looking too different to be combined in one volume. And considering I had re-written the last half, the optioning of splitting the book into two for printing sake didn't seem too outrageous to either of us.Nothing was decided for sure, but were leaning heavily towards that.

And then a computer snafu made the decision for us, eating half of Justin's work, and all of the backup files. Justin decided scanning and toning everything all over again wasn't worth the time, especially considering he wasn't crazy about his work on the early sections of the book [again, this was his call, not mine - I think Justin's art was excellent throughout - though there is a marked difference between the first and latter half], and I more than supported that decision as we already sort of had plans to split them up, and dammit, it'd been years. We both knew it was time to get this thing done.

Justin quit his job, and knocked out the last few pages at record speed. I did up a new intro, a sort of "Last time on Calamity Cash..." page, which summarized about 24 pages into four-five panels, and then I spent the last several days editing, still haunted by the memory of a single typo in "Sulk: The Morning After" and a malapropism that wasn't, but at times I will swear was. There were more than a few panicked emails, me wondering if the thing I missed the first time had already been sent off to be printed, but Justin was taking his cues from the Ents, and not being the least bit hasty in polishing everything off.

The end result is "Calamity Cash and the Town with No Name No.2." Sort of as a throwback to something Justin and I both remember from collecting comics, getting that issue number 2 of 2 from some mini-series or other, maybe as a reprint at a big box store, or in huge pack of comics you'd buy at flea market [outside of this particular post, don't be surprised if at some point I herald the the first issue as an unprecedented sell-out and success in storytelling, rivaled only by Dante's Inferno, and now forever out of print]. The order's out now, and what comes next is the wait, to see just how it all turned out.

I have a pretty good idea. Without flirting too much with hubris, the book, editing-wise at least, should be immaculate. And the art, the half tones, the layouts, not to mention the cover, which looks awesome and pulpy and distressed and... well, awesome, has really come together into something I'm proud to have my name on. Justin's done great work, found us a printer, and put in a small order to see how the book will look in-hand.
Assuming everything goes well, and the printer comes through [which, this is really Justin's wheelhouse, so I'm expecting top notch quality], we actually have the funding to do a small run. If anyone's interested, naturally, email me at mojo.wire.productions@gmail.com, or message me on Facebook, or hit me up @themojowire on Twitter. Having some idea of how many we'll need will make things easier, but while we have a pricing point, we haven't really decided how we're going to handle that yet, if we're even going to worry about selling them at all.

This was about making comics. This was about Justin seeing if he could. This was about Laura seeing her characters come to life. And this was about me giving her that, and seeing my work actually on the page, paneled out, which to this day brings me a level of satisfaction I can't begin to describe.

And it's done.

Happy Birthday, Hawkeye.

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I am momentarily at a loss to remember how I usually ring in a New Year here on the blog. There is something about tradition that I always feel bound by, and when I forget it, I have these... solemn moments.

I took down the tree today. All the other decorations too - it makes the room feel a touch sadder, there's too much space now, to much room for things. It's the mandatory concession, is what it is, the acknowledgment that all the pomp and pageantry that I put so much work into, to try and make the holidays special, that's over, and there's no time to squeeze one more gesture of goodwill out, no trappings of the season for me to lean on as I try to make those who matter to me feel... special, unique, loved. Now we are in the long winter, the gray of January and February, where I'm left, not entirely unlike I was before Christmas this year. Hoping for a clean, white snow.

I lament too much.

Finished my last review just after Christmas. I'm fairly certain I have enough banked to break even for the holidays. Saving money has been so important this year, that even though I feel a little more secure, I find it kind of digs its heel in, insist that I keep those numbers up. Anywhere near my once usual poverty-line bank balance and I get nervous now. There are worse habits, and some would say such worries are just a sign of growing up. Shame on them.

Still, it's a load off. The next one's already in the mail.

Got a Christmas e-mail from Ander - apparently he's had some internet-related problems. It was great to get back in touch, and wish him a proper Merry Christmas. It'll be great to start talking to him again, once every thing's sorted..


Had the privilege to be a beta reader for a friend's novel. Talked about it a little here. I am not entirely sure if "beta reader" entails something more specific than "reading, editing, and being critical," but that is how I approached it nonetheless. I'm used to looking at fairly large pieces of finished work by friends of mine, but this was, or is tied with, the largest thing I've ever given notes on. I got through it twice - one time less than I wanted to, but it felt good. I enjoy doing this kind of thing, not the same kind of enjoyment I get from my own writing, because when doing that there's no middle man, there's what I wrote, and what I think needs changed. And the hand-wringing goes here. Plus, I'm never worried about not reading too close, or offending myself.

Still. It's writer's work. I know some writers who wouldn't think so, and I'm not sure I'd call them real writers. I suppose that's as close to a public judgment as I'm comfortable making. Funny learning things about yourself like that.

Enjoyed the experience, and my friend has an impressive of novel on his hands. Exciting enough to make me want to get back to work on... something.

Not sure how this week is going to go yet. I'm hoping to see an old friend, and a new friend of hers, soon. Good chance Justin and I will resume our weekly meetings too. My sleep schedule is just strange, and getting stranger as of late. It's to the point where I don't think I care when I get it, I just wish that when would be at the same time every night... or day.

Today is the birthday of someone very special to me. I remember when I was very young, having the difference between birthdays and holidays described to me, and thinking it was all very unfair, that someone's priorities were fucked. Years and years later, I met someone who put it all into perspective for me, in a way that... well, is very easy to get through to me with - Alan Moore - and just conveyed to me what an amazing thing it is any of us - specifically us, as we are now - are here, so each birthday for someone you know is really special, a true one of a kind thing. And it's easy to forget that, because there are so many us who are special in that way. But it's true.

It's also so funny to me to just think that a year ago, today was just the 2nd of January. And yet, during the passage of that time, I found someone who, by today, by this 2nd of January, has made me want nothing more than to fly across the country with a particularly large cake and celebrate with. Though, I'm sure those TSA bastards probably have some kind of problem with I don't know, frosting or something, but still. It's an amazing thing, the people who come into our lives, so unexpectedly.

Many happy returns.

Amending my Christmas List.

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I'd like some snow.

The near sixty degrees that the five day forecast is currently touting is more than a little disappointing. Hell, it doesn't even really have to snow. I'd just like some nice, crisp, cold weather. You know. The kind of cold that overcoats and thrift store sweaters were made for.

It's Justin's birthday today. We've been good friends for several years now, working on a comic together, playing Magic, taking up tables in IHOP for hours at a time. Hatching crazy schemes, and actually seeing some of them come to fruition. Okay, so that's mostly Justin, but still. Christmas is a pretty crazy time for him - his wedding anniversary is at the end of this month, as his birthday, as mentioned, and his wife's birthday, and then, of course, also mentioned, Christmas. I just wanted to wish him a happy birthday here - he's not much for internet salutations, but what the hell.

It's more and more looking like "Calamity Cash and the Town with No Name" will finally be finished after the New Year. We talked about some other things we might do for the occasion, too. Justin's picked up some neat toys over the past few years while we've been working on this thing, so there might be some neat extras, if for no one else, then for us.

Christmas has really come together. I have one thing left to wrap, and you know, a few people on my list didn't quite get covered, which is unfortunate, but it's late enough now, I figure it's just best to wait, and make it up when just the right gift jumps out of me. I did my best, and I've really enjoyed myself this year. I've stayed busy, and I haven't gotten down, or at least as not down as I have been in the past. Ideas are percolating, and I've been reading a lot of things, and even though it isn't the same as writing something for yourself, it's been nice to help others, or just remember what polishing work is like. I think I got pretty discouraged there, and forgot that there are a lot of different parts of the process, things I love just as much as the writing. It's easy to look at it all as just... the work done after the fun part, but it's not. I'm looking forward to getting back to my own stuff, even put out some feelers to some folks, who might help with some perspective things. And right now, I'm enjoying the reading, the editing, etc.

Anyway, just wanted to chime in. Been neglecting this space. Don't see that changing until after December is over. But we'll see.

Christmas List - 2011

This is the tree this year. It's pretty similar to the years past, and the picture was sort of... haphazardly taken with a computer web cam, which explains the quality. It's just not really a point and shoot job when you're dragging mouse work, and separate monitor into it. Angles, and angles. Apologies.

It's sparser than last year. I didn't use as many lights, or as many beads, and that's weird for me, because I generally think a full tree is the best kind of tree, and last year I thought it was pretty sparse too. But the tree's getting kind of old, and it sags a little under too much weight, and even though I spent the whole night on it, more of that might have went to watching Red Dwarf than digging through the decorations.

Plus, I had to cannibalize some strings of lights for the lights that wound up on there. I don't think I ever realized how simple Christmas lights were until I had to pull out bulbs and take a few sets apart. The upside to this is that fixing them was not as beyond me as I expected it to be. The downside is, as with most really simple things, it's really simple to screw up the perfectly good lights too while trying to fix or replace the bad.

Still, it made me feel handy. That doesn't happen very often.

I was writing last week, this short fantasy story called "The Mouth Devours." The plan was to post it on Friday, but the honest fact is, even though it was only a couple hundred words long, I decided it wasn't really up to my standards - which, if you've seen some of the prose I've put on here is pretty low. So, I nixed it. I meant to pop in on Friday or Saturday and write... something, but I didn't really see any reason to force it if I didn't have to. And I didn't.

Things have been busy. I actually only finished my Christmas shopping today, and that was "finished" with some caveats. There was a new book to review, and I actually polished it off a little faster than usual, just because the extra income to recover from said shopping would be nice, especially with other expenses that might be coming up after the first of the year. I'm also reading a friend's manuscript for them, and I'll admit I didn't really think about doing that with all of the Holiday-related merriment, which was... terribly short-sighted of me. And odd, because I really have procrastinated myself into a crunch in a very long time.

I'm actually pretty good at controlled procrastination, so that's odd.

Justin and I hung out on Thursday night - the long Magic games have been a lot of fun, and something I've come to look forward to each week. Surprise news this week, but Justin thinks on his current schedule, we could see "Calamity Cash and the Town with No Name" finished by February. Once the pages are finished, there will be a lot of work to be done by me again, and I'll detail it all here, as usual.

Something I wanted to add... I do something like this on the blog every year, where I write a letter to Santa, asking for whatever it is I want for Christmas. I have an Amazon Wishlist I sometimes give out which is embarrassingly huge, and my guess is, given the date, anyone who was going to get me anything and knows about it probably has already has. And anyway, the more I think about it, the more I realize that, honestly, I don't really want anything.

I mean, yeah, I know everyone says that. And I'm not going to turn down some book I want, and yeah, my scarves have all seen better days, and I have a Steam Account now, if anyone's interested in getting me a game or something on the cheap or just friending me to play Spiral Knights when I eventually get to that, and a bottle of Scotch wouldn't be so... sorry, no, no, I really am kidding with all that... because this time of year, like that's not what this is about for me. I just enjoy all this, you know? The music, and the shopping, and the decorations, and all the trappings, be they self-indulgent, commercial, and obnoxious, or just quiet, modest, and stirringly heartwarming. A celebration should be both, I think. I think that is what celebrating is.

So really. I don't want anything. If you must spend money on me, make a donation to some charity. RAINN's good, not perfect, but good. Honestly, anything pro-women's issues, or some place that's gay and/or trans friendly. Anything social justice related. Hell, try out some micro-lending. Just... nothing religious, no food banks, make sure you know where and what the money's going to.


It's gloriously cold out. There keep being promises of snow. It's Christmas time. I have this marvelous girlfriend, and a, at times mercurial, yet still incredibly affectionate cat, and yeah, things happen, setbacks like the thing with the story that I was going to post on Friday, but I feel like... it's slow, but I'm getting it back. I'm writing again, and I feel comfortable in that skin, being "the writer." Specifically, being the kind of writer I am.

Mind you, my moods are about like my cat's, so this could all change spectacularly, and soon.

So I'm enjoying my Christmas specials, the decorations, all the prep, so much of it I will never see the payoff of, but just knowing that payoff is there, maybe some of what I do will brighten someone else's season, that's really enough for me.

All right. I am not so sentimental that I can't tell when things are getting kind of saccharine. So here's the thing, Santa. I just want the mail to run a little faster, so everything can get to where it needs to be on time, and I just want a little bit of this confidence to stick around after the New Year. And that's all I'm going to ask for.

Happy Holidays, everyone.

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P.S. I put something like this on Facebook, but I want to put it up here, too. I'm no stranger to depression. It's very much a part of who I am, and maybe it shouldn't be, maybe it's mad that I put up with it sometime. Being tortured is quickly falling out of vogue. But all that aside, I do still find it in myself to enjoy things, enjoy things like this time of year, but I would like to say, I know it isn't always so easy.

Look, it's hard. Life is not what I'd call the most pleasant experience... most of the time, but there are bright spots, and it's easy to let all the times without them get you down - sadly, especially, when there are bright spots. I know what it's like to be celebrating something, but also feel depressed, disgusted, just generally worn down by everything. And I know that for most people, the first thing you get when you mention to someone, especially this time of year, that you're down, you're probably just going to get a nattering "Why can't you just be happy?" Anyone who thinks it's actually that simple is mad, and not nearly as sensitive as they think they are. And anyone who's said as much lately... contemplate sending a very apologetic Christmas card.

Sometimes it's not as easy as just cheering up. And it can be really hard when you can't reconcile the good with the bad. And if you're feeling like you're struggling, well... be damned with the cheer up people, and don't be turned off by suddenly more upbeat disposition. Call me, write me. Or if not me, find someone to talk to, reach out. It's hard. You might have to do it a couple of times, before you find what you need. But keep trying.

To quote myself, it takes some serious mad skills to handle it all on your own, and trust me, not having said skills is probably more healthy than not.

Take care of yourselves.