Chasing Dreams.

Chasing dreams this morning. Fell asleep around 5 or 6.

My mind opts either to terrify me, or give me what I want. Right the world this morning. Visited Doug this morning, he's moved into a new place, and has a new job. He and Aaron live in trendy condos set among catwalk jungles where people have no problem sleeping outside, naked. Doug's calm, seems happy, always the strongest indication someone isn't, while Aaron keeps the place up to the pulse, with iPod ports in every room, big screen TV, entertainment center. All the accoutrement that goes along with a new bachelor pad. Some lessons learned in the nineties still carry over today. Reassuring.

Other things, visits to relatives in houses that don't exist anymore, same relatives screaming at me about child abuse, and how my problems are not the only ones in the world. At parties, more friends appear than blood, with Sam there, always laying down, relaxed, and everyone mingling, like Bennington and WV know each other well enough to not need me to make the introductions. Marlene Sauer is there... boyish haircut but red lipstick, smiling every time she sees me.

I hadn't thought of her in months.

The girl's there too... but we don't talk. My mind just lets me run into her, down the produce aisle, across the End of the World, in the hospital waiting room. I miss her, more than anything.

So those are dreams, and this was a waste. More, helpful, interesting, later today.

Not a total wash. Julia tells me comic was done by Brandon Bird. Obscenely cool.

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